You might be a DISPENSATIONALIST if...

You might be a DISPENSATIONALIST if...

1. You think other Christians are anti-Semitic
2. You’ve never read Hebrews
3. You can justify being 2000 years late for an appointment
4. You’re really bad at math
5. When the going gets rough, you’re nowhere to be found
6. You sleep nude so your post-rapture bed is tidy
7. You were born after 1830
8. You use your newspaper for morning devotions
9. You’d rather have been outside Noah’s ark
10. You don't think Satan really noticed the cross
11. You prefer the shadows
12. Always always means always except sometimes
13. You went to Dallas Theological Seminary
14. You prefer the shadows
15. Always always means always except sometimes
16. You went to Dallas Theological Seminary
17. Bad news excites you
18. You feel Scofield's notes were inspired
19. You’ll only be a 2nd class citizen of paradise
20. You think THIS means THAT
21. You think NEAR means FAR
22. You thought about naming your kid Darby
23. You decided it’s too late to have kids
24. You believe the Day of Pentecost refers to the birthday of Dwight Pentecost
25. Your Pastoral Search committee only looks at candidates from DTS (Dallas Theological Seminary)
26. You consider your children to be an "intercalation" in your marriage
27. When people tell you Lewis is their favorite Christian author, you think of "Lewis Sperry Chaffer," not "C.S. Lewis"
28. No matter how many member states the EU adds, you "know" it's the revived Roman Empire with 10 heads
29. You own the entire "Left Behind" series
30. You get your news from Jack Van Impe
31. You’re offended by this list
32. When someone asks for your opinion on Bible versions and you think of
    The John MacArthur Study Bible
    The Ryrie Study Bible
    The Scofield Study Bible
    and not
    The ESV - English Standard Version
    The NIV - New International Version
    The KJV - King James Version